You Choose, Your Rules

photo credit: Sreejit Poole
photo credit: Sreejit Poole

Set up for trouble from the
get go. I’m irritable,
you’re irritating, made
easier by the fact that
I’m full of hot air, while you’re
breathtaking. It’s true that I
would never get in the way
of letting you make your own
mistakes. That’s how I live, some
call it callous, but I call
it giving room to grow.

Take for example this crap
I cooked up for dinner tonight,
a fight ensued from my
simple lapse in judgment. If
someone else would have done that
shit, I would have called them a
fool, but I did it myself
so that makes it commendable,
dependable as I am to
not call on others, unless
there is no other way.

With a mother that insisted
on us learning our own
lessons – my work, my mistake
– I never could put up with
people that asked for help with
every task they’d take. It’s a
do it yourself world, ruled by
the do it for me people.
And for those of us like me,
who can’t ask for help but don’t
want others’ advices either?
We are the lone wolves, always
hungry, never satisfied.

I see the pain in my words
reflected in your face, and
you know that, for me, the taste
of battle is its own
motivation. I want only
to love you but we don’t seem
to fit quite right, so these pain
filled words I offer instead.

I see you stop breathing as
I move in for the kill, still
you can’t let me go and I
can’t finish you off. A
monster’s paradise I’ve made
of our home, but you can’t help
but love me all the same. Your
eyes see only the good in
me, but I’m the lone wolf,
beautiful from afar and
a killer up close – can
never be close. Superficial
or cruel, you choose your rules.

It’s a do it yourself world,
run by do it for me people.
It’s a conflict of interest
that destroys our happy home.
But, there is nowhere to run
to, for we’re made for each other,
me irritable, you
irritating, me full of
hot air and you
breathtaking…

11 Comments

  1. So much of your poetry is concerned with the difficulties people make for themselves within relationships – fascinating. Cataloging the reasons why so many women in middle age become serial shoppers and so many men retire to their sheds!

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