Collecting Pieces

Artwork by Aleksandra Kerzhentceva.  Check her out at http://www.kerzhentceva.com/
Artwork by Aleksandra Kerzhentceva. Check her out at http://www.kerzhentceva.com/

Piece
by piece
I collect them
– useless memories
that add up
to a lifetime
of shame.
Piece
by piece;
I take hostage
any claim
to innocence
and feed it
to a desire for
validation.

Though captured
in your arms
I find myself
struggling
for a reason
to be more;
more than
the answers
and more than
the plans,
more than the mere
sum of a man.
Say that
I am enough,
even knowing
that I could never be,
as it will make
a few moments pass
in a self-absorption
that rests in thee.

Fallen
and I can’t find right
and you can’t find
right away
with me.
Brought to
the brink of death
and it cast me away
ashamed to see
that I was brought
to the truth
and the light has
found me in the shade
– crawling
and my hands and knees
bleed
awaiting
the remembrance of
my name.

Grasping
for a better
world
and I found
its resting place
but
I abandoned it
to crumble inside
a self-indulgent
pain.
These
are only
pieces
and pieces
and pieces
of
my shame.

7 Comments

  1. Why is it that we suffer so, with shame, as humans? This of course is more of a rhetorical question, but your beautiful poem begged it. 🙂 I’m not sure that we ever fully satisfy with who/ where we are. The artist especially yearns for more…. more absolute fruition of his/her gifts, more actualization, that “just right” place where we flourish forever––not for notoriety or fame, but for a pinnacle that is almost unattainable. We find that “resting place” but then we “abandon” it as you say. Beautiful poem, Sreejit, as it opened up a different part of my brain, inciting more inquiry and thought, beyond just merely reading a poem.

    Like

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