Am I the only one that suffers from Chronic Christmas Depression Syndrome?
I’ve thought about it a lot and I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a chronic need to balance the emotions of others. For instance, if you give me really perky people to deal with first thing in the morning then I turn into a sour and surly old man, but if you give me a tired looking, weary soul to talk to, then I become very chipper and delighted with the chance of torturing them.
This must be why on Christmas, when everyone is filled with love and counting their blessings, I can’t help but take offense. Bring me chaos and I’ll give you calm, bring tears and I’ll give you laughs but bring me joy and I become lonely, waiting for the day to end so that I can wither back beneath the covers into my solitary peace, free from all of the smiles being liberally passed around.
Though to some the solution may seem clear –medication? – don’t get out of bed? – more coffee? – I am taking another approach. Now that I’ve gotten on the nerves of the people that I can physically talk to, I’ve decided to go into silence and only annoy all online; filtering into your emails and readers to grinchify your day. You’re welcome!
Now you can offer your stories of sorrow and woe to uplift me.