When I was a kid, I tried on three occasions to keep a diary. Each time, afraid that others might happen by it and read all of my little secrets, I would end up destroying the books after a couple of weeks. Of course, now I post all of those secrets on the web, but I haven’t given up the habit of destroying them regularly. I’ve posted more than 600 times to this blog (if you don’t believe it, check your spam folder) but I have only 200 entries still published.
When I go through the process of writing poetry, I always come to the conclusion that what I’ve written is insanely awesome before I push publish. Later, when I go back and read it, more than half the time I run for the delete button, not sure what veil had hidden the original, painful truth from me.
Now that I’ve been doing this for a couple of years, I’ve started to see a pattern. The inspired stuff is always for keeps. It’s the squeezing toothpaste shit, otherwise known as publishing for the sake of productivity, which always sucks upon further review.
Of course, the whole idea of having a blog takes a lot of ‘look at me’ attitude (in the ashram we call this ego). But, there remains something wholly divine in the creative process itself. Writing is like music or singing in that it is always a spiritual experience. If you’re singing to God then it becomes a purely divine affair, but even just the act of singing or making music is engaging in the language of the universe. This engagement can’t help but lift us out of ourselves a bit.
We have all experienced being in ‘the zone,’ writing from a place that we are not always in touch with. On these occasions we just try to keep up with the thoughts as if we are trying to transcribe the voices on some mysterious radio frequency. Those inspired pieces breathe of being more than just the ego. Those pieces are special. The other days, writing simply for the sake of writing, or writing because we just want a voice, well those pieces are special too, but they’re just not timeless.
What is your writing experience like? Do you run on inspiration or perspiration?
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