Broken wings…
these silly things,
letting air flow through
where substance should fill the gaps.
Perhaps, as with weaker souls,
my brilliantly crested breast can indulge
in lesser pleasures, still survive the dawn,
and redeem my righteous standing…
just maybe… if I lay down my armor gently.
Yet, fragility is no less feeble when coated
with a tentative nature.
Whether savagely devoured or
carefully pierced by the edges of
pristine, pearly teeth
– a bite is still a bite.
And, despite Light,
humanity is still falling.
This spiral with breathtaking views
leaves us confused in descent.
Why can’t these wings keep me afloat?
Ambitious feet refuse to be soiled,
but toes stretch long for the dipping,
knowing – they will rue the day
of defiance. Why, then,
must they test forbearance?
Knowing is a double-edged sword,
reflecting simultaneous truths…
I am beloved and bewildered
in this crippling existence; I am
held firm and alarmingly adrift
in this spiritual persistence; I
see forever, but taste now with
quivering heart and trembling lip.
Thus, loss and triumph
caress my fingertips, while I
walk with mortality and dream
outside of it.
I need these two worlds to collide,
so I flap, and I flap, and I flap –
ever reaching for more.
Life uplifted.
Breath suspended.
Love transcended.
I flap, and I flap, and I flap –
ever sinking in less.
Life encrypted.
Breath resisted.
Love acquitted.
I flap, and I flap, and I flap –
ever soaring in stillness,
while turbulence surrounds me.
Then, I remember…
I am but a flutter of faith,
nesting in eternity’s heartbeat.
These silly things…
these broken wings,
with gaps that let air through…
were never meant to carry, but
whisper in their flurry,
“I need You…”

11 thoughts on “Turbulence

  1. So many worlds, and ideas crashing together here. “Yet, fragility is no less feeble when coated with a tentative nature,” has really gave me some pause as I read through it a second time. I like how you have all the ideas reversing on themselves, kind of like how we live our lives, always having to remind ourselves of the real meaning behind our actions.

    1. Yes – exactly, Sreejit! That colliding of worlds and ideas is exactly why this is named “turbulence.” Navigating the spirit and the flesh without muddying the water is challenging for anyone. But often, those of faith face a variation of that challenge; encountering circumstances of temptation, of getting the hands & mind a little dirty, of testing the waters… and then using the process of contemplation between the higher and lower self to soften the compromise. As the phrase you point out addresses, hesitating and “going gently” into something you know falls short of enlightened existence is no less an offensive act than that of the individual who rushes in carelessly with full abandon. We all are spirit and flesh and face that reality on varying planes of consciousness, but we are all also as accountable for our choices as we are privy to God’s mercy and grace. In fact, I believe the one who is considered “more enlightened” is more accountable. The struggle is real… Lol… and we can get really lost in ourselves… lost in our virtue… lost in our shame. At the end of the day, what’s most important, I feel, is that the conversation you ultimately have with yourself is a truthful one. It is not to our own credit that we overcome and persevere, but through our necessary reliance on God (who means something different to different people) and our genuine attempt to be positively connected to the universe. I see “wings” as representative of hope and possibility when the journey gets rough, and not as a means for sustainable self-reliance or personal glorification.

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