We are all the heroes of our own story.
When I walk through a crowd, I’m struck by the disconnect between my own self-importance and the fact that no one seems to notice me at all. Judgments flow mercilessly from my mind towards everyone that I see – thoughts that I could never imagine giving voice to – and I wonder what others’ merciless judgments of me might be. There are not many mirrors where I live, so my self-image is of a high-school boy from thirty years ago – not the actual awkward boy that walked the halls a loner, but the imaginary rock-star that I perceived myself to be. When I do catch my reflection, I always pause to wonder if that guy, who put on 50 lbs. in the last 30 years, is indeed me.
It is natural that we would want to be recognized and seen. By my estimation, we are quite literally stars and a stars’ nature is to shine. A star is “a fixed luminous point in the night sky which is a large, remote, incandescent body like the sun.” (Oxford Dictionaries) Doesn’t that describe us as well? We are all lights of consciousness, fixed casually inside of our mind/body complex, and completely remote from each other, as we stand alone in the darkness of our own existence.
Our own lives are the centers of our individual universes. Even when our world revolves around someone other than ourselves, it is still “my” children, “my” girl or boyfriend, “my” husband or wife, “my” president, “my” guru, “my” God. We are all the star at the center of our own universe, with our own gravitational field smashing into all of the other little gravitational fields around us. Some people’s fields are so strong that they are like black holes eating up the planets around them, while others are weak and move along unnoticed.
Our own gravitational field is completely unaware of 99.9 percent of the other gravitational fields floating around this world. Is it any wonder that we cannot understand each other? We may follow certain patterns, but we have no idea what is going on with, or the affect we are having on, one another. Somebody living on the next block from us might as well be living in another solar system; we would have the same amount of connection to them.
By day, I am an international chef, cooking for hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people each meal. In the cooks’ own mind, we are always the king. Even more than the king we are like the people’s mother cooking for them each day – this is an even greater seat – that of Mother King. Imagine our horror when people come to complain – especially when people eat and enjoy our food everyday, and one day something doesn’t seem right, so they feel the need to let us know. For the cook, this is just stupefying. But for the patron, they are not feeling that the cook is king. The patron feels that this is someone who is working for them and if that employ (at best, though the intellectually challenged may view us as their servant) doesn’t do a good job, then they feel obligated to let them know. In the customer’s mind, they are king. And do you know what happens when two kings get together and are unhappy with each other’s performance? War.
We cannot have an interesting story when everybody’s the hero. There has to be a loser to be a winner. There has to be suffering for there to be happiness. There has to be birth for there to be death. There has to be evil for there to be good. There has to be minions for there to be a king.
Can we all be stars then? Can we all be a sun? To make a good story, some of us have to be planets revolving around the sun. We might have our own moons. And our moons might have their own moons. But what happens when a moon thinks that the light reflecting off of them is their own and not that of the suns?
No, that can’t be.
We all have the light of consciousness.
Or are we all just reflecting a suns consciousness and calling it our own?
For me, there has to be more; more than just oblivious minds all thinking they’re the shit, and not tuning into what is happening with everyone else around them. More than my own likes battling my own dislikes. More than my own dislikes battling the likes of others.
So, the question I’m more concerned with is, what is the way out of this cycle of self-absorption that leads to the me-first mentality? Maybe we have to be like a supernova and just explode. A supernova is “the explosion of a star, possibly caused by gravitational collapse, during which the star’s luminosity increases by as much as 20 magnitudes and most of the star’s mass is blown away at very high velocity, some times leaving behind an extremely dense core.” (Oxford Dictionary)
What would happen if our gravitational pull collapsed? If we stopped being the center of our universe? Would we shine at 20 times the magnitude? It would require that which we think we are connected to, our body/mind complex, or our ego, to implode. Once that is gone, once that connection to what is restraining our consciousness is destroyed, would we shine like we never did before? I imagine we would.
We are all little lights passing each other in the night, on our journey through existence, judging the flicker that we each possess against the others, and not even really sure if it’s our own light or just a reflection. Creation is simply an extraordinary thing – beautiful and hideous in every way.