Even in the Darkness
Even in the darkness, there is light.
We might not see everything that is present, but we surely see everything that is necessary. Life is an uncertain package where there are moments that are extremely exuberant and there are moments that bring us down, but every memory gives us something that we can carry ahead with us. It may be a blissful memory or a memory full of sadness, but we will always learn something from it.
I take life like a game where there are uncountable levels, uncountable up unto the day we die, and there are problems that occur every day. We plan for them, we sort them out and some days we achieve victory over every issue, and other days we await new problems, and this cycle continues indefinitely.
There are times when some moments are extremely dark. When we try remembering them, every flashback is clear as if it all happened yesterday. You feel the very same pain as you did on that day. Those memories may be dark but they can be the candle that gives light to your life.
Maybe simply reading this line it is not enough for you to agree with me but maybe my experience will be.
I was barely 5 years old when I faced a terrible incident. I was not ready. I was just a small child learning some basics in nursery classes. I was a small kid playing with dolls and teddies, laughing with people who laughed and crying with people who cried in front of me. As not fully a 5-year-old kid, I saw my mother dying a painful death. Nobody killed her. She was one of the most loved souls of our house and our colony, but God had different plans for her.
An accident took the prettiest of souls away from us. It was Diwali time where every house has an endless number of things to do and dishes to prepare. The gas and all of the cooking instruments were kept in the kitchen because 20 dishes and sweets had to be prepared. And then, my mother’s saree caught fire. She didn’t even realize it. After all the work, she went to her room to clean up. The fire spread from beds to curtains to the sofa like the sway of the tide. The fire caught her within it and she couldn’t escape it, no matter how she struggled. This was the saddest, most painful day of my life.
To see your mother fully burnt and dying – that pain can never be defined. That pain didn’t leave after days, or months, or years. Even today it is painful
But I still lived. In my mother’s memory I fought this pain to find all that life had awaiting me. My mother’s death made me tough, made me fight every situation that came before me, made me love people as much as I possibly could, because I knew the pain of losing a loved one. It caused me to make others feel important because I knew the pain of having no one to listen to my crying. My sorrows never ended but I made a purpose for being happy out my sorrows. I made myself into the person that I imagined my mother would have taught me to be or the daughter my mother would have wanted me to be.
I love her and miss her even today. I cry at times. But I wipe my tears and look at the sky to ask her to smile upon me.
Yes it was dark but there is beauty even in the dark. The sky at night is all black, but it is serene and I feel happiness when I look at it. My mamma hasn’t gone anywhere – she is still with me. She is the candle that brings light to my life. In my heart and in my soul I let a smile spread through me as in this dark I can see the beauty before me.
Our life just cannot be described by some mere words, it is rather a blend of many emotions. It is a mixture of happiness and sadness, love and hatred, encouragement and decievement, opportunities and threats, success and failure, comfort and pain, joys and sorrows, trusts and cheats, or say from everything you know to you know nothing…yes this is life…a blend, a mixture of all the type of fruity emotions to make some sour,some sweet juicy experiences which every one has to taste!!!
Written for the From Darkness to Light event. If you’d like to be a part of the challenge, find more information Here. But first, leave a comment and let Aditi know what you think about her words, and be sure to visit her over at My Expie! when you’re done.