My Heart Has a Hole in It

By April Krubally

 

My heart has a hole in it!
I thought I was protected by a friend.
I held this person so high in my
hierarchy of need only to realize
this person never existed.

I built an absent entity in my
thoughts as permanent but quickly
learned it to be a ghost.

I kept this minion alive for quite a
long time and now I am tired! So
tired of carrying this entity around.
Empty
Empty
Gone…

I must escape and run fast away
from the pain… it is unbreathable.
It hurts to swallow…

I must set this vapor free…
Not another moment can pass with
this entity in full form.. Maybe I have
been in love with an idea..

I keep replaying this emptiness and
the pain in my mind of not having
this entity around. I feel so alone in
my thoughts, no one to share this
grief.

I need to cry so to release the
molten sandstone of emotions,
my breath is short and spaced
apart.

I am remembering… slowly…
I am that I am…

I am light,
Joy,
Peace,
High vibrational love energy,
I am a song…
A song of wonder and full of
sunshine.

Oh, I had forgotten all of that which
makes me soft and flexible.

Humble and gentle,
Broken but not shattered
Alive and dead in the same moment.

I am the light.
I am the light and the dark.
A brilliant beam.

 

April Krubally

I am light and dark, joy and sorrow, good and bad, free and bound, I am that I am.

 

 

 

Written for the From Darkness to Light event.  If you’d like to be a part of the challenge, find more information Here.   But first, leave a comment and let April know what you think about her words.

 

 

6 Comments

  1. April, you expressed your pain and your process of remembering who you are so well. I haven’t seen you for a long time but this part of your poem definitely describes the you I know:

    I am light,
    Joy,
    Peace,
    High vibrational love energy,
    I am a song…
    A song of wonder and full of
    sunshine.

    Liked by 1 person

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