A Journey to the Light Within: digging for treasures within the soul
As someone who came from a Christian background, I became fascinated by many wonderful tales and inspiring verses in the Bible. I was deep into church activities, and epic biblical stories struck me with awe; they included: Moses & the Red Sea; Joshua commands the sun to stand still; Elijah raises a child from the dead; Jesus walks on water—the list could go on and on. The major biblical acts were actually great heroes of faith.
On the other hand, peace and joy, which are important attributes irrespective of our status in life, were completely absent, and hard to summon at will, especially during difficult times and challenges, before I became an adult.
I must admit that although it was inspiring and uplifting to attend church, Bible studies, devotions, preachings, and prayers sessions, they didn’t give me the type of peace, wisdom and intelligence I longed for, or perceived that the heroes of faith had.
The first problem was how to get peace, while the second problem was how to get the important material things I needed in life. At this stage, I needed a bit of material things to get going, but that too looked unachievable at the time. The desire for spiritual growth sprung up much later after I became convinced that the life I was living belonged to a power far higher than me.
One thing that really helped at the time was that my mind wasn’t conditioned to depend on what others thought was the best way to get things done, or move forward in life. This thought propelled me to look for answers even though I still didn’t have any real spiritual experience, understanding about the purpose of life, and how I could go about achieving things in life the way certain people were able to.
And after days, months, and probably years of assimilating powerful Bible verses, and other positive, religious and spiritual books, a strong thought finally came alive within me: I was convinced that all heroes of faith believed in their hearts that they could have whatsoever they wanted, and they actually had most of it, if not all.
The following verses rang powerfully in my heart:
- “For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith”—Mark 11:23.
- “Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth”—Mark 9:23.
In summary, I understood that greatness was all about believing—having mere belief, irrespective of one’s background—notice the word “whosoever”; but this belief didn’t seem so easy to get.
My understanding of meditation and how to use the mind, improved my personal level of reasoning and enlightenment, bit by bit, and made me understand why quite a number of people didn’t have a high degree of peace, wisdom, understanding, spiritual power, and many other important qualities that could make life better and merrier.
Shortly after, I developed a burning desire to understand how the world and wonders of GOD worked, the meaning and purpose why I am here, and how I can exercise my own will or mind in order to summon the things I desire.
Because of this desire, most of my inner life has been devoted to understanding and exploring how faith and the mind work, and how to use them in our world.
I remember how the following verse helped inspire and push me a lot:
- “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”—Matthew 7:7.
The verse reminded me persistently, that if I continue to pray, expect, meditate and think about the things I wanted, in time, they would come to me—and in time, they did; also, I learnt how the formula (or so I thought) works.
I began to feel a strong conviction that I was on a journey to the inner light within me—a journey in which I seemed to be digging for treasures within my soul without ever coming to the end of doing so.
Becoming more aware, or spiritually conscious
As the thought of the wonders and positive words of the Bible took up a major part of my mind, and new experiences sprung up around me, I began to feel that I had understanding of how the inner world within the mind works, and how it affects the outer world of physical manifestation.
The nearest term (in meaning) I could associate with my new-found experience was “increasing awareness or consciousness”, and the more I focused on “increasing my awareness or consciousness”, the more I knew there could be no better term to use in describing my experience.
As the hunger for more awareness sprung up deep within me, I wanted more of it, and nothing mattered to me more than my personal growth and enlightenment which I knew I could use anywhere or anytime to get what I wanted—so I thought.
And the more time passed by, the more certain words anchored the rooftop of my heart, while others dropped off. Words such as “worry, disbelief, disquiet, and edginess” faded away from my heart; on the other hand, words like “quietude”, “calmness”, “peace”, “joy”, along with many other positive words, began to cling more and more to my heart.
More inner experiences: the growth of calmness, quietude, peace, and thoughts that look at things from a positive perspective
I continued developing attraction and deeper interest in topics such as faith, miracles, joy, peace, patience, perseverance, meditation, spirituality. In order to keep the tempo going, I read more positive Christian literature and few others that were non-Christian—basically, I looked for mind-blowing literatures that could further enrich my inner life and experiences. I didn’t really bother which background they came from. I only cared to know whether the author believed in GOD—and that was it.
As I continued to play around with everything positive, and nurture my mind with ensuing thoughts, I started having new and completely different inner experiences that heightened my level of awareness which was much different from my “former” level of awareness.
At other times, after reading something new and exciting, I would practice more meditation, calmness, quietude, and feed my mind with only positive thoughts, no matter the amount of negativity that circled around me.
These new inner experiences, as products of more positive meditation, brought me more peace, calmness, quietude, and a lot of faith—life was beginning to become more and more fulfilling, exciting and interesting.
With regular practice, I came to a personal understanding about how I thought one could develop strong faith, and used it to become more relaxed, more unhurried, more laid-back, and more unaffected by most of the negative experiences that normally threw me off balance in the past.
The growth of my calmness got to a point where, in the midst of my difficulties and challenges due to unemployment after acquiring a master’s degree, my dad told me that nothing negative on Earth seemed to bother me. I was surprised he could utter that, and that probably, he had been thinking about it for quite some time before uttering it.
Generally, my experiences became full of adventure, because with little or no money—except from the ones given to me by my parents and a few relatives—I lived a contented life and followed my intuition a lot.
I found that with these new set of enlightening, exciting and uplifting experiences, I was very happy even though I hadn’t yet acquired the type and amount of material possessions I actually desired; however; I knew that material possessions were on the way—for I had seen them through faith.
At this time, I started applying my mind and faith towards acquiring money and important material possessions. I didn’t do this because money made me really happy. I did it because I knew fully well that it would help me get most of the important material things that were lacking in my life, and reduce the amount of mental energy I used in thinking about what I lacked.
With a part of my mind bent on getting money, my faith continued to increase gradually until it reached a point where I actually felt—and I mean it—that money could come to me from anywhere; also, I felt that even if money fell from the skies, I wouldn’t be surprised.
It wasn’t long after, that I made my first $10 from the internet. This particular amount of money wasn’t free though; actually I made it from writing, which is one of my major abilities and strengths.
Fast-forward some weeks later, and I began making up to $700, $1000, and much more from online writing. In fact many opportunities sprung up for me on the internet, and I began looking at the internet as the “skies” which I had thought about earlier.
So my idea about getting things from faith, changed from one tied to the mysterious appearance of money from the skies, to one that believed in using the abilities of self to attract money—and one of these abilities was writing, amongst others.
The more the money was coming in, the more independent I became, and the more my peace, calmness, quietude and spirituality kept on increasing, even until this very day.
The aftermath and result
Over the next couple of years, my personal and spiritual growth was tremendous, and really paid off. In fact, for the past 15 years, I’ve witnessed my growth and evolution heighten as a conscious being.
Gradually, I’ve come to understand that gaining heightened awareness is synonymous with becoming more aware of the rich inner life within, and the world it could create on the outside.
Also, I’ve come to understand and believe that the more aware I am about my inner life, the more I would have the ability to create the type of life I want and respond more positively to the negative experiences that spring up around me.
When I was less mind-conscious in the past, I simply did things through the common route which was always easily accessible, not knowing there was another less easily accessible way right within me.
Gradually, as I became more aware (mind-conscious), I began to realize that my mind presented more options or choices which I could pick up and use in my life.
Along the line, I started getting and applying useful information which I knew I couldn’t have gotten from anywhere else other than my intuition. This experience made me believe more and more that anything is actually possible.
And although I became fascinated about the aftermath of this new experience and life of greater possibilities, another subtle thought kept running through my mind on the side, reminding me that life isn’t all about having every material or immaterial thing.
Surrendering more of my life to GOD: my inner guide—the highest power
When I started working positively on my mind, I was excited because I felt that most of the things I wanted in life could actually be mine, and that I could create most of the type of life I wanted.
I was elated by this feeling that I could have most (or all) of the things I desired. On the other hand, when I compared my lifestyle with that of the most influential people, especially spiritual giants, I began to consider submitting my life to the dictates of GOD—or the highest power, as some people say.
Jesus, in particular, had the power to summon legion of angels and escape death, but he didn’t; instead he submitted to GOD, the highest power, who probably felt that his death would bring greater good to mankind that his continuous physical existence beyond the age of 33 years when he actually died.
There are many other instances, too many to mention, in which men of great faith allowed the dictates of GOD to sweep away their personal desires—this was a very strong message to me.
With this, I became convinced that the creative thought power I was using, was actually coming from somewhere higher than myself, and the real power wasn’t mine.
Around the time I had this conviction, I noticed that at certain times, some of the things I actually wanted and believed in, didn’t manifest: I couldn’t summon them, but much later, I was able to understand why the things I wanted didn’t come; and this was for my own good.
At the time, a Bible verse I had forgotten about for a while, came back ringing in my mind harder than ever:
- “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”—Romans 8:28.
Yea, all things work together for good: so I could see and understand that whatever I wanted but didn’t manifest, was for my own good.
This meant that there was/is/will be a power higher than me, wiser than me, and guiding me, even against some of my desires which I thought were too good for me.
Another verse I had forgotten about a bit, probably because of deep interest in my desires, sprung up:
- “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death”—Proverbs 14:12.
Some of the things I thought were good for me, were actually not as good as I thought. On the other hand, some other things which I never asked for, occurred somewhat miraculously as if a higher power carefully and speedily put everything in place—and these things were the best.
At other times, in the midst of doubts and challenges, I had accurate insight about positive events that would happen to me in the near future—and they actually happened the way I perceived them before time.
I began to feel that if I pursued only money and material possessions, I would likely feel emptiness inside me. On the other hand, if I concentrated on my own personal development and that welfare of my fellow human beings, I would have a sense of inner fulfilment and abundance.
Since then, I’ve been motivated to find inner fulfilment in my life, make a positive change in the world, and do all I can to help others acquire more knowledge, wisdom, joy, happiness, transformation, etc.
At the end of it all, I lost the desire to control everything in my life and make things happen the way I would like to.
Eventually, I surrendered most of my decisions into the hand of the highest power, and started looking for what the highest power would prefer, or want me to do, rather than what I would like to do.
I ended up becoming convinced that if I listened carefully to the highest power within me, there wouldn’t be much difference between what I wanted and what the highest power wanted.
Written for the From Darkness to Light event. If you’d like to be a part of the challenge, find more information Here. But first, leave a comment and let Ihagh G. T. know what you think about his words, and be sure to visit him over at Motivation & Environment when you’re done.