that he loved her,
he heard a voice
in the wind say,
as he noticed the gardener
scrubbing bird shit off the neighboring stone. What more would need be said?
through his head
like images floating away.
The two of them
spending countless hours just talking. Talking about nothing.
His morning coffee
was still troubling his tongue.
Should’ve brushed my teeth, he thought.
At this moment
does it really matter?
Would it ever matter again?
His mind couldn’t focus
on the task at hand.
As if he couldn’t accept it.
But it wasn’t right.
He worked a little
to regenerate the thoughts of her
so as to properly honor her memory.
She had cared nothing for him in the beginning.
It took so many years
to get her to believe
have a life together.
He tried to drag her along on his dream, but she wasn’t interested.
she had melted.
He remembered well that moment.
He had always tried to talk
in her native tongue.
And she always
But this time was different.
Ne file pas mon amour aux chiens,
he had told from his heart. And that was it.
She was done fighting. She was his.
But their time together, the committed days, was but a blink,
days or weeks,
his memories were blurring under the strain of circumstance. They had talked about
the inevitability of such a day as this,
when they were still just friends,
when they had thought that they had a lifetime to enjoy each other.
Blue had it in her
that he shouldn’t cry,
and had demanded that when it was her time:
- Nirvana’s Lithium should be blasted loudly as her body was lowered
- A shot of Jack’s should be in the hand of each in attendance
- He should make the neighbor’s kids do some kind of second line action
- The priest should be a woman, just to throw them off, keep the people confused
- No suits. Keep it loose
The whole scene should be cathartic,
she had laughed. So why did he feel so constrained. And who got
the tunes wrong?
Why was Louis,’
What A Wonderful World, playing in the background.
He loved that song,
not so much.
He knew that they
were only trying
to comfort him,
what the hell.
Get the damn song right already! This is what she had asked for! Was it so hard!
he would deal with it later.
as he was staring into Blue’s eyes, he could have sworn
that he saw a tear.
All I ever wanted was to see you smile.
she was gone.
The casket closed
and was lowered down. Alone in the darkness
it suddenly all made sense. He
was not the one
who had survived the crash.
An Excerpt from Gypsy Soup
Featured image via Pixabay