Yes, I am mean – I know it, you don’t have to tell me. I’m very good at it, I’m not proud of it, it’s my fall back mechanism when you’re fucking with my OCD.

Yes, I can be kind, it takes some work, but I try. I’m emotional and walking lines you cannot see.

Yes, I am stubborn – for I am confident in my opinion – I won’t try to change your mind, but if you grant me not the same respect, then indeed we will fight.

Yes I am proud of my heritage, my nation and my faith, but I am trying to be more than our history and my DNA, so don’t box me in with your judgments and your ideas, I have my own boxes that I’m working with and it is a struggle when you move my lines that you cannot see, for one of those lines are holding back the beast.

Yes, I am embarrassed by my need to be heard, but I’ve embraced my shame and together we move through this world recklessly clinging to illusions. But let there be no confusion – I did indeed choose them.

 

Some people call me a “no” guy, but here I am saying yes to everything.

 

 

5 thoughts on “Yes, I Know

  1. I just opened your blog to take another look at your new theme, and the first thing I saw was the dragon. Wow. That is a stunning photo.
    I really like the post too, although I don’t believe you have OCD. You may, like me, have a tendency to overthink, although I don’t know if that is what you are calling OCD.

    I’m glad you are sharing your inner workings on your blog and invite others to do that as well. This would be a good post for you to add an audio version. I’d love to hear it.

    1. What I call my OCD is this obsessive need to have everything in my work space in it’s particular spot and everything done in a particular way. Anytime anybody even moves a bowl out of alignment I have to tell myself not to react even though I want to flip out.

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